Why this site should be called "I Needed To Get Off My Ass"

After the election results in November 2024, I went on a bit of a rampage trying to figure out what to do, where to go, and how to get there. I am married to a beautiful trans woman, and a child of immigrants. This has never been a friendly country to her, but it felt like it was about to get a hell of a lot more dangerous.

After a few weeks of researching international citizenship laws, U.N. refugee policies, and birthright options, my spouse and I were left with a choice: gamble on leaving the country, which would be expensive, risky, and who knows what countries will be safer in 4 years, or stay here and fight for our rights and the rights of others. We decided to stay.

That left me with a host of questions for myself. How could I fight? What could I do? How could I use my privilege as a white cis man who comes from a comfortably middle-class family? Honestly, these are questions I've struggled with for a long time. I remember (trigger warning) in 2020 when the Black Lives Matter movement was making a resurgence in the mainstream media, I asked my Black friends what they needed from me. I cringe to think of those moments.

What I should have done was shown up with a list of things I've already done, and a list of things I was going to do. And by "show up," I mean use these lists to activate other white folks, not to prove I was pulling my weight to Black folks. I should have given the Black folks in my life the love and support they deserve, and not have tried to calm my own ego by putting the responsibility of action on them.

I also learned to listen when Black folks or trans folks or Palestinian folks or women or Indigenous folks or People of Color tell me they need something. I remember, when we were demanding the defunding of police, New York Governor Cuomo sat in a press conference and asked, "what reform do you want? What do you want?" I remember thinking, it's in the name of the mission: we want to defund the police.

Us white people can be like Cuomo too often, myself included. We only hear what we're comfortable hearing, and only do what we're comfortable doing. After realizing this, I found SURJ (Showing Up for Racial Justice) which is a group of white folks who facilitate action using their privilege, but always centering Black and Brown folks. This means they listen to what is needed and do it. I based this site off of the SURJ actions I've been a part of.

So, that's why this site should be called "I Needed To Get Off My Ass." I was stuck in a loop, asking what I could do, just so I could ease the pain of knowing truly how much I could, and needed, to do. Sometimes, we're so concerned about what we should be doing that we don't do anything at all. So, here's a quick list of things you can do when you can't think of anything else:

• Read a book about oppression and justice for the oppressed

• Start or join a book club with those books

• Donate to a charity you respect, and, more importantly, one that the people you respect respect

• Volunteer with an organization

• Make care packages for people experiencing houselessness in your area

• Write to your congressperson about issues you want them to support or oppose

• Get involved in local politics, like going to citizen police review board meetings or town halls

• Join local or national action groups

• Encourage others to join you on your journey

But literally, start by doing SOMETHING.